Do you ever feel like the little guy in carton full of big guys?
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Hand Gestures
Sarah is calculating, deliberate and strong-willed. When she wants to do something, she's pretty much not going to let anything (like a parent) get in her way. Thankfully, I've experienced this before and know that we will live through this stage. Unfortunately, it doesn't make it much easier.
Something about Sarah that I can't remember the other kids doing is her hand gestures. I guess this is a way of adding believability to her claim.
Yesterday in church, she was trying to prevent Joseph from getting any of her drink of water. She flipped her little left hand into the air, made her eyes real big and declared that it was only her drink.
Just now, she was pushing a chair to the counter with the breads and treats and complaining that she wanted a snack. I asked her what she thought she was going to get from up there. Up went her little hand, flipped at an angle away from the side of her head, her eyes grew big again and she said, "I not going to touch anything."
This gives new meaning to "Please raise your right (left) hand." I'm no more fooled than a judge sitting in divorce court.
Something about Sarah that I can't remember the other kids doing is her hand gestures. I guess this is a way of adding believability to her claim.
Yesterday in church, she was trying to prevent Joseph from getting any of her drink of water. She flipped her little left hand into the air, made her eyes real big and declared that it was only her drink.
Just now, she was pushing a chair to the counter with the breads and treats and complaining that she wanted a snack. I asked her what she thought she was going to get from up there. Up went her little hand, flipped at an angle away from the side of her head, her eyes grew big again and she said, "I not going to touch anything."
This gives new meaning to "Please raise your right (left) hand." I'm no more fooled than a judge sitting in divorce court.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Therapy
I've mentioned before that my blog is like therapy for me. Since making my last drastic switch, I have felt this is even more true. Many of you have been kind and "upped" your comments. I don't want you all to comment just to keep me from falling off the deep end, but please don't stop! I guess I want it both ways. :)
I've also thought many times over the last few years that I need to see a professional therapist/counselor. But I'd have a good few weeks and think I'd beaten the problem, only to have another melt down later. In the last couple of months, I'd decided it was really time to talk to my bishop about pointing me in the right direction. (Crying through 3 hours of church was a good motivator.)
Well, my new blog therapy had lifted my spirits a bit, so I wasn't actively pursuing the decision I'd made to seek help. Fortunately(?), there are some folks around here who think I need some encouragement. I was "reported" to my bishop and he talked to me today. Bottom line...I am expecting a call some time this week to set up my first appointment.
In a dream world, I'd love to tell my sad tale and put all the blame on my family. In reality, I need someone to help me see what I haven't been able to show myself and help me work through this mess. Even if my family never changes, I hope to be able to have a more positive perspective on things. And maybe they don't need to change...though I still think they do. !!
It sure would be nice for Chad and my children to have a less emotional woman ruling their lives, and my friends would probably like to witness fewer breakdowns as well. Here's to hoping for good things!
I've also thought many times over the last few years that I need to see a professional therapist/counselor. But I'd have a good few weeks and think I'd beaten the problem, only to have another melt down later. In the last couple of months, I'd decided it was really time to talk to my bishop about pointing me in the right direction. (Crying through 3 hours of church was a good motivator.)
Well, my new blog therapy had lifted my spirits a bit, so I wasn't actively pursuing the decision I'd made to seek help. Fortunately(?), there are some folks around here who think I need some encouragement. I was "reported" to my bishop and he talked to me today. Bottom line...I am expecting a call some time this week to set up my first appointment.
In a dream world, I'd love to tell my sad tale and put all the blame on my family. In reality, I need someone to help me see what I haven't been able to show myself and help me work through this mess. Even if my family never changes, I hope to be able to have a more positive perspective on things. And maybe they don't need to change...though I still think they do. !!
It sure would be nice for Chad and my children to have a less emotional woman ruling their lives, and my friends would probably like to witness fewer breakdowns as well. Here's to hoping for good things!
Round 'em up, Move 'em out, YEHAW!
We had some glorious weather in these parts yesterday. Was your weather as nice? Our day started with cleaning the church, then a trip to the library, followed by a stop at the local Preparedness Fair. From there we went on a much anticipated picnic and played a bit at a park. A stop at the bread store on the way home turned into a decision to defrost one of the freezers (because the bread needed to be frozen).
I am still scratching my head over the fact that we were defrosting a freezer on March 24th! It took a couple/few hours to get four years' worth of frost out of that monster, but when we replaced the food, we organized meat into one freezer and everything else into another. Wow. We have a lot of food (and chocolate) in our garage.
Meanwhile, Chad decided that it was a good time to catch and weigh a lamb that we wanted to post on Craigslist. She was a little tricky to catch, but we got the task accomplished and decided that the ewe weighs 90 lbs. A little on the small side for butchering, but her birthday is coming up in two months, so we need to get her sold.
Then we decided to put her into the corral so that she would be easier to catch next time. The thing is...her father is in the corral with her mother and "aunts" and half-siblings. So we got the ram out of there and into the pasture.
If you ever have the good fortune to visit us during a time that Chad needs to round up an animal around here, you will leave with some darn funny memories! We finally got that ram out, with Chad pulling and Daniel and Nathan pushing. Then Nathan climbed up on his back and that ram just stood there. I guess he's not a rodeo ram. He ran off easily enough when the rope was off his neck and Nathan was off his back.
Well, the ram is less likely to try to break back into the corral if he has a few of his girls with him. We have two ewes that are no longer mommas, so we pulled them out, too.
The pictures below are from Chad and Nathan pulling out the last ewe. Notice the only two lambs/sheep hanging around Chad? They are the bottle babies and are the only ones that don't run away from us. They become a bit of a health hazard (tripping hazard) when someone is trying to rope a sheep that doesn't want to be roped!
They were lucky and got the rope on her without too much effort. This is the best time to climb on her back!
It's a good thing Nathan's so light. This ewe is going to be glad to be free, as soon as she can get rid of that boy on her back!
When Chad and Nathan got her out to the pasture, they had a short brain lapse and let go of the rope. She started running away and they had to chase the end of the rope before it completely passed them by. Nathan was quicker and got a hold on it first.
Now it's time for the real fun. We just need to get that rope of her neck first...
...and then it's time to hold on tight! This sheep gave Nathan quite a ride. She tried to out-smart him by scraping him along the outside of the corral and then running them both through some discarded barbed wire. He held on for a long time. I don't think the story can be told any better than the one Nathan's face is telling in this picture.
I love this life and the experiences the kids are having. How could we ever go back to living in a city/neighborhood?
I am still scratching my head over the fact that we were defrosting a freezer on March 24th! It took a couple/few hours to get four years' worth of frost out of that monster, but when we replaced the food, we organized meat into one freezer and everything else into another. Wow. We have a lot of food (and chocolate) in our garage.
Meanwhile, Chad decided that it was a good time to catch and weigh a lamb that we wanted to post on Craigslist. She was a little tricky to catch, but we got the task accomplished and decided that the ewe weighs 90 lbs. A little on the small side for butchering, but her birthday is coming up in two months, so we need to get her sold.
Then we decided to put her into the corral so that she would be easier to catch next time. The thing is...her father is in the corral with her mother and "aunts" and half-siblings. So we got the ram out of there and into the pasture.
If you ever have the good fortune to visit us during a time that Chad needs to round up an animal around here, you will leave with some darn funny memories! We finally got that ram out, with Chad pulling and Daniel and Nathan pushing. Then Nathan climbed up on his back and that ram just stood there. I guess he's not a rodeo ram. He ran off easily enough when the rope was off his neck and Nathan was off his back.
Well, the ram is less likely to try to break back into the corral if he has a few of his girls with him. We have two ewes that are no longer mommas, so we pulled them out, too.
The pictures below are from Chad and Nathan pulling out the last ewe. Notice the only two lambs/sheep hanging around Chad? They are the bottle babies and are the only ones that don't run away from us. They become a bit of a health hazard (tripping hazard) when someone is trying to rope a sheep that doesn't want to be roped!
They were lucky and got the rope on her without too much effort. This is the best time to climb on her back!
It's a good thing Nathan's so light. This ewe is going to be glad to be free, as soon as she can get rid of that boy on her back!
When Chad and Nathan got her out to the pasture, they had a short brain lapse and let go of the rope. She started running away and they had to chase the end of the rope before it completely passed them by. Nathan was quicker and got a hold on it first.
Now it's time for the real fun. We just need to get that rope of her neck first...
...and then it's time to hold on tight! This sheep gave Nathan quite a ride. She tried to out-smart him by scraping him along the outside of the corral and then running them both through some discarded barbed wire. He held on for a long time. I don't think the story can be told any better than the one Nathan's face is telling in this picture.
I love this life and the experiences the kids are having. How could we ever go back to living in a city/neighborhood?
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Light weights
I weighed Joseph(4) and Sarah(2 1/2) this morning. Any guesses?
Here are some hints: they are 4 lbs different...Joseph was wearing a sweatshirt...Sarah still had last night's diaper on...they are BOTH still in front-facing car seats
Give up? Of course you do. I wouldn't expect anyone to care enough about this to make a game out of it. But it's a much better lead-in than just announcing it right off.
Sarah weighed in at 28 lbs. Joseph was 32. These kids are eating constantly. WHERE is it going? I had been considering letting Joseph move up to a regular booster with just the van seat belt because it would make getting in and out of the van so much easier. But he still looks so tiny in his car seat and at only 32 lbs (they are made for use up to 40 lbs.), I think he would be safer as he is now.
Sadly, I have the opposite situation. I have long out grown any car seat. (And several favorite outfits.)
Here are some hints: they are 4 lbs different...Joseph was wearing a sweatshirt...Sarah still had last night's diaper on...they are BOTH still in front-facing car seats
Give up? Of course you do. I wouldn't expect anyone to care enough about this to make a game out of it. But it's a much better lead-in than just announcing it right off.
Sarah weighed in at 28 lbs. Joseph was 32. These kids are eating constantly. WHERE is it going? I had been considering letting Joseph move up to a regular booster with just the van seat belt because it would make getting in and out of the van so much easier. But he still looks so tiny in his car seat and at only 32 lbs (they are made for use up to 40 lbs.), I think he would be safer as he is now.
Sadly, I have the opposite situation. I have long out grown any car seat. (And several favorite outfits.)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Drama Queen
My family has had enough of me.
Enough of my whining about not hearing from anyone while they all party it up together down there. I guess my post about trying to decide to blog or not was the last straw for my mother.
She called me on Monday and lectured me on how I AM loved. She says she gets up here as often as she can (it's 3-5 times a year). She informed me that she only has between 1 and 3 in the afternoons when it's quiet enough to call, because that's when her daycare kids are resting. But she "knows" that's when I'm napping, so I'm free to call her at that time when it works. (I rarely get a nap these days.) I guess her daycare kids never go home and they are there all weekend?
Before you think I am sitting around staring at my phone, let me say that I have tried calling her. She usually doesn't have time to talk for one reason or another or doesn't answer at all.
We go months without talking to each other. She lives 3 hours away, but it may as well be 3 days.
So she told me that the family doesn't need the drama. I just need to know that I am loved and be satisfied with that. Just because I don't hear from them, it doesn't mean anything. And that is just how it feels...it doesn't mean anything.
I really hate hearing about how much people talk to their mothers (and sisters) and call them when they need help or a listening ear. I can call for help; my mother will come if I need her (my sisters won't). However, she does not have listening ears. Her problems are always worse than mine. I tell her things several times and then have to hear her say later that she didn't know that!
Through poor judgment, I had been using my friends for listening ears. When I had one tell me that she doesn't call me because I talk too long, I pretty much stopped picking up the phone at all. It's a tough road to walk...draining my energy to raise 6 kids and not having someone help me maintain my reserves. Chad is great, but Chad is not a woman (thankfully).
I know I am a "hot head," and I have seen it get worse the past few years. I think it must be related to my strained family relationships. It really would be easier not to have a family at all than to have one like this one.
Well, the family isn't getting the drama now. There's a lot more they aren't "getting."
Enough of my whining about not hearing from anyone while they all party it up together down there. I guess my post about trying to decide to blog or not was the last straw for my mother.
She called me on Monday and lectured me on how I AM loved. She says she gets up here as often as she can (it's 3-5 times a year). She informed me that she only has between 1 and 3 in the afternoons when it's quiet enough to call, because that's when her daycare kids are resting. But she "knows" that's when I'm napping, so I'm free to call her at that time when it works. (I rarely get a nap these days.) I guess her daycare kids never go home and they are there all weekend?
Before you think I am sitting around staring at my phone, let me say that I have tried calling her. She usually doesn't have time to talk for one reason or another or doesn't answer at all.
We go months without talking to each other. She lives 3 hours away, but it may as well be 3 days.
So she told me that the family doesn't need the drama. I just need to know that I am loved and be satisfied with that. Just because I don't hear from them, it doesn't mean anything. And that is just how it feels...it doesn't mean anything.
I really hate hearing about how much people talk to their mothers (and sisters) and call them when they need help or a listening ear. I can call for help; my mother will come if I need her (my sisters won't). However, she does not have listening ears. Her problems are always worse than mine. I tell her things several times and then have to hear her say later that she didn't know that!
Through poor judgment, I had been using my friends for listening ears. When I had one tell me that she doesn't call me because I talk too long, I pretty much stopped picking up the phone at all. It's a tough road to walk...draining my energy to raise 6 kids and not having someone help me maintain my reserves. Chad is great, but Chad is not a woman (thankfully).
I know I am a "hot head," and I have seen it get worse the past few years. I think it must be related to my strained family relationships. It really would be easier not to have a family at all than to have one like this one.
Well, the family isn't getting the drama now. There's a lot more they aren't "getting."
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Homemade Puppet Show
I ordered Joseph's birthday present a couple of weeks ago. (I am really on the ball, this time! His birthday isn't until November!) It came in a big, long box and I got to looking at it last night. The longer I looked, the more the idea formed: a puppet show!
I started by taping up the flaps to make the box deeper. Then I ran a really long piece of tape all the way around the outside of the flaps, to increase durability.
Next, I marked a square opening and cut a hole in the front with a steak knife. It went pretty easily.
I found a large bottle of craft paint (left over from painting in the girls' room) and painted the front and part of the sides.
A proper puppet show has a curtain to hide the puppeteer. I had a pressure curtain rod tucked away. I knew there was a reason I didn't throw it out! See? Sometimes, you really do need that stuff you just can't toss out. I pulled some fabric out of my stash, serged from selvage to selvage and made a simple casing.
I punched some holes for the rod about 6 inches back from the front of the box, put one end through the box, slipped the rod through the casing in the fabric and out the other side of the box.
Now, all it needed was a sign.
The puppet show is ready for action! Sarah is modeling how to do it.
But she just can't resist being part of the show.
The project cost me ZERO dollars! I made the curtain wide enough to use in a larger box should this one die and we need to make a different one or different size. My total time spent on the project was about an hour and a half.
I started by taping up the flaps to make the box deeper. Then I ran a really long piece of tape all the way around the outside of the flaps, to increase durability.
Next, I marked a square opening and cut a hole in the front with a steak knife. It went pretty easily.
I found a large bottle of craft paint (left over from painting in the girls' room) and painted the front and part of the sides.
A proper puppet show has a curtain to hide the puppeteer. I had a pressure curtain rod tucked away. I knew there was a reason I didn't throw it out! See? Sometimes, you really do need that stuff you just can't toss out. I pulled some fabric out of my stash, serged from selvage to selvage and made a simple casing.
I punched some holes for the rod about 6 inches back from the front of the box, put one end through the box, slipped the rod through the casing in the fabric and out the other side of the box.
Now, all it needed was a sign.
The puppet show is ready for action! Sarah is modeling how to do it.
But she just can't resist being part of the show.
The project cost me ZERO dollars! I made the curtain wide enough to use in a larger box should this one die and we need to make a different one or different size. My total time spent on the project was about an hour and a half.
Monday, March 19, 2012
In Honor of Spring
Despite the winter-like welcome sign that was stuck to my door since the beginning of the year and the 2-ft-high "Let it Snow" sign in my front window, Winter never really showed up around these parts. We've seen more mud than snow and have not had more than 3 days of snow covering the ground all season. It is very bizarre for this part of Idaho. And very depressing. I don't like driving in snow, and I don't much like being cold, but I do like snow and think it's beautiful.
However, even I can move on. I am looking forward to Spring. I want to open my windows, send the kids outside for hours on end and enjoy some flowers in my yard. I want to smell the sweet scents of rebirth.
In honor of the First Day of Spring, coming tomorrow, I broke out my Silhouette and some colorful vinyl for a new sign for the door.
Too bad I near froze to death while I was putting it on! It snowed most of today. It's all gone again, but I think it's safe to expect Spring to confuse itself with Winter a bit. Ah, Idaho.
New Direction
I feel like this new blog I have created is a bit on the extreme side of things. I have thought about making this move for several months now and an unpleasant phone call this morning was the catalyst to finally take this step.
I definitely feel like it's a childish thing to do, but maybe it's time to let that child out!
I have not posted much lately because I felt hurt by my family's lack of contact and didn't really want to give them free information, thereby giving them more reason to not call. (Is that a run on sentence?)
And this morning I was chastised for creating drama in the family and having a chip on my shoulder that no one wants to break through. Since I no longer have to worry about making the drama worse through my blog, there may be more on that topic later.
I have a lot of bruised feelings. Once again, I'm not looking for sympathy, I just want a place to sort it out and give it an outlet. So I made one! :)
I definitely feel like it's a childish thing to do, but maybe it's time to let that child out!
I have not posted much lately because I felt hurt by my family's lack of contact and didn't really want to give them free information, thereby giving them more reason to not call. (Is that a run on sentence?)
And this morning I was chastised for creating drama in the family and having a chip on my shoulder that no one wants to break through. Since I no longer have to worry about making the drama worse through my blog, there may be more on that topic later.
I have a lot of bruised feelings. Once again, I'm not looking for sympathy, I just want a place to sort it out and give it an outlet. So I made one! :)
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