Drama Queen

My family has had enough of me.

Enough of my whining about not hearing from anyone while they all party it up together down there. I guess my post about trying to decide to blog or not was the last straw for my mother.

She called me on Monday and lectured me on how I AM loved. She says she gets up here as often as she can (it's 3-5 times a year). She informed me that she only has between 1 and 3 in the afternoons when it's quiet enough to call, because that's when her daycare kids are resting. But she "knows" that's when I'm napping, so I'm free to call her at that time when it works. (I rarely get a nap these days.) I guess her daycare kids never go home and they are there all weekend?

Before you think I am sitting around staring at my phone, let me say that I have tried calling her. She usually doesn't have time to talk for one reason or another or doesn't answer at all.

We go months without talking to each other. She lives 3 hours away, but it may as well be 3 days.

So she told me that the family doesn't need the drama. I just need to know that I am loved and be satisfied with that. Just because I don't hear from them, it doesn't mean anything. And that is just how it feels...it doesn't mean anything.

I really hate hearing about how much people talk to their mothers (and sisters) and call them when they need help or a listening ear. I can call for help; my mother will come if I need her (my sisters won't). However, she does not have listening ears. Her problems are always worse than mine. I tell her things several times and then have to hear her say later that she didn't know that!

Through poor judgment, I had been using my friends for listening ears. When I had one tell me that she doesn't call me because I talk too long, I pretty much stopped picking up the phone at all. It's a tough road to walk...draining my energy to raise 6 kids and not having someone help me maintain my reserves. Chad is great, but Chad is not a woman (thankfully).

I know I am a "hot head," and I have seen it get worse the past few years. I think it must be related to my strained family relationships. It really would be easier not to have a family at all than to have one like this one.

Well, the family isn't getting the drama now. There's a lot more they aren't "getting."