Merry Christmas!

I have spoken with a few people recently about my blog and the pathetic attention I have been giving it.  My dad encouraged me to get back to writing.  (In his fatherly pride, he's sure I could make a few dollars if I were try to get myself published.  It is a long-dormant dream of mine to write for publishing. And getting some money out of it wouldn't be too much of a hardship.  But my confidence in my writing having much appeal has been holding me back.  Anyway...)

So I am writing tonight.  Truthfully, I'm waiting for my dinosaur laptop to boot up.  It was my big deal Christmas present 6 years ago.  I still love it, but now I love it a little longer each time I sit waiting for it to do anything.

We had a very nice Christmas today.  Santa was good and kind to the kids.  Joseph was quite impressed that Santa understood his drawing of a drum and gave him one.  And Sarah just KNEW she was getting a baby and a "blankie."  What can I say?  Santa is amazing.  And he has me for his personal secretary when catering to our family.

Leah was thrilled with her horse-print blanket and Breyer horse complete with western saddle and bridle. I took great care to keep the sewing of the blanket and selection of the horse from the collection in the garage a secret from Leah as this was the last year for her to "believe."  I wanted her to have one more magical, wonder-filled memory.

I knew that she wouldn't have any more Christmases with the same level of faith in the old jolly guy, but I surprised myself with the thought of talking it over with her later in the morning.  I got Chad's opinion first and then took Leah aside while we were outside with the dogs.  She took the revelation extremely well.  She is now part of the family keeping the "Santa Secret."  Occasionally throughout the day, she has quietly asked me a question about one point or another.  She was such a firm believer!  I feel a bit sad to take that away from her, but she is already surrounded by kids sharing their own understanding.  I'd rather the news come softly and with love than in a school yard jab.

Chad's gift to me this year was a raised platform for my washer and dryer.  For nearly two years now, I have been putting my head between my knees just to get the clothes from the washing machine into the dryer.  Now, I no longer have to feel the blood rushing to my head while I labor in the laundry room.  The machines are 15" higher and have spots to store the waiting laundry baskets.  The fact that I can barely see the top of the machines is a small sacrifice.  I am a short person in a tall world!  ;)  I told Chad that the luxury of not contorting myself just to do the wash was worth every minute he spent making the stand.  I don't know if he agrees, but I do appreciate the gift!

Despite the tornado that tore through the living room from 6 AM to 8 AM, things are mostly put away and the room restored.  That translates to: it's really no messier than normal.  If we were to have a surprise visitor, I wouldn't be unusually embarrassed, except that I'm in my pj's and looking just as tired as I feel.

We have Chad home for one more day tomorrow and I anticipate more game playing, maybe a trip to "town" and possibly some cookie baking.  Sometime between now and next Wednesday, I have to prepare for Leah's birthday.  But let's just take it one day at a time!

I hope everyone had a merry Christmas!

King Daniel

Daniel was cleaning the toilet bowl and Sarah came over to visit and observe.  (I agree.  That is a gross place to hang around.)

Daniel slips into performance mode and starts straining to remove the toilet brush from the bowl of the toilet. He makes a reference to pulling the sword from the stone.  When he finally frees the brush/sword, he declares, "I'm the next king."

I don't know what gets into that boy's head.  But I did think to myself, at least your "throne" is clean!

Joseph's Jelly Fish

Joseph has been focused a bit on jelly fish lately.  He keeps asking me why they are called jelly fish.  I give him my best guess...because they move like they are made of jelly.  He has a different idea this morning.

"Mommy, I know why they are called jelly fish."
"Why?"
"Because they eat jelly."
"No.  They don't eat jelly."
"Yes, they do!"
"There isn't any jelly in the ocean."
"Yes, there is!"
"Where does it come from?"
"People throw it in!"

OK.  I know we have a pollution problem on this planet.  But even so, we aren't supporting whole species with our waste.  So I didn't believe him.  ;)

Nathan's Hip

Many people are wondering what is happening with Nathan's hip.  Join the party!  We are also still wondering.  Here is what we know so far, and the questions our knowledge inspires.

Based on an MRI and a CT scan, Nathan does not have cancer.  We were unsure about that for a while and spent a long weekend wondering if that would be the diagnosis.  There is a higher bone density on the side that he is experiencing pain. The "impression" from the doctor reading the CT scan is that there is a "mild chronic stress reaction" of the iliac bone.  But that is an unusual place to have that problem.  The fact that something like that should have healed long before now has meant we get to see a doctor at Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake.  The doctor mentioned something about possibly having fluid "in there."   I can't elaborate on something I don't understand.

We did that on Tuesday this week.  They also agreed that nothing too serious or scary was going on (like cancer), but they were still unsure what was happening - exactly.  Nathan had some blood drawn that day and we have an appointment next week for a full body scan.  The scan is supposed to be even more in depth than a CT scan (which is more in depth than an MRI).  They will have to give him some contrast of some kind and wait for it to work before they do the scan.  We've been told to expect the appointment to last about 4 hours.

So now we are trying to figure out what to do with the rest of the kids on that day.  School is out.  It seems unnecessary to make them also take a 10 hour trip.  It's the day before Thanksgiving so we could just hang out with family for the weekend, but Chad would have to meet us separately and there are animals to care for and we'd have to add packing to our plans.  Besides, with all of the traveling we've been doing, and the stress we've been feeling, nothing seems more appealing than being home.

And that's an update on Nathan.  Thankfully, his pain seems to have lessened.  I think the physical therapy, while helping straighten out his back, was aggravating his hip. He is nearly pain free unless he has a day of a lot of extra activity.

Maybe my next post will be an update on Daniel!

Jaw Trouble

It looks like I have to take Daniel in for his jaw.  This has been going on for over 3 years.  I don't know if I should take him to PT or the doctor for this recent trouble.  One is cheaper now, the other is cheaper over all.  One can only make certain moves to help him, but it might be enough.  The other can make a decision to send us elsewhere if he feels it's time.  Either one is going to be tricky since I don't have an appt and Daniel really needs relief NOW.

*sigh*  I was hoping today might be a quiet day.  I think that somehow I've been too wicked and am paying the price!  (I am "this" close to busting out in tears!)

Sarah's Afghan

Years ago, when I was teaching myself to crochet, I made a tiny pink and white afghan.  I was early in my pregnancy and hoping for a girl.  I had some scrap yarn on hand, so the stage was set.

After the afghan was complete, I met Daniel for the first time on the ultrasound.  I knew then the pink wouldn't do.  As sentimental (or is it just mental?) as I am, I still had to use the afghan.  It became padding under the thin mattress of the bassinet (which we didn't get until Nathan was on his way).

All the babies from then on slept on the comfort of the afghan without knowing it was there.

Eventually Sarah, the last baby, outgrew the bassinet and we emptied it to pass on to family.  Somehow, the afghan hung around long enough for Sarah to notice and claim for her very own.  I had made her a blanket to love just as I had for all the other babies, as well as other blankets.  But the afghan remained her favorite. 

At the height of Sarah's obsession with blankets, I was covering her with every blanket she owned, or claimed as hers...6 total, all made by me at some point.  The afghan always had to go on first, followed by a certain blue blanket and then the rest could be added in any order (if she was in an agreeable mood).

Added to the order and attachment was her need to weave her fingers and/or toes through the holes of the crocheted yarn.  It would drive me crazy to have yarn between my toes, but it soothes Sarah somehow.

Now that she is 3, Sarah's dependency on her afghan has waned just a little.  She can take a nap without it, but usually doesn't. And her habit of grabbing it with her fingers and toes is as strong as ever.


Thirteen years ago, when I was crocheting an afghan for my baby, I never expected it would become the best friend to my child born 10 years later!  I guess I was just prepared with that project a little early!

More?

I thought I was stressed and overwhelmed.  Then it got harder.  I haven't cracked yet, but I'm not sure it's not coming.  This "diamond" is going to SHINE after all of this pressure!

Big Unword

We are trying to leave the house and were looking for Sarah's shoes.  My children all have the same blindness when it comes to searching for something.  So after Sarah AND Joseph had made a thorough search of Sarah's room, I went up.  I found them under a dress in the closet.

When I came down with them, Sarah asked me where I'd found them.  When I told her, she replied,

"That's a probabadility!"

I don't know if was or wasn't, but I was impressed by her use of a big word (or unword).

Humming...

You may or may not have noticed that I haven't been around much.  Not only haven't I written much, but I haven't read much either.  Blogs have slipped down the priority list.  Life has pretty much taken me down a rugged road lately.

I've decided that I'm so tightly wound into a taut line of nerves that you might actually be able to hear me hum if you listen.

Chad's working out of town and not being home 3 nights of the week is taking its toll on our family.  He was released from his calling, but I was not.  My meetings often take me out of the home in the evening and the kids are left alone.  They don't like it and I feel guilty.  Not to mention taking care of 6 kids, and their school needs, and the house, etc.

We'd love to sell the house, but we've been dealing with a legal dispute and then waiting on approval from the mortgage company.  No one cares that we have issues.  No one rushes to help us meet our deadlines.  It's very frustrating and stressful.

We've had numerous trips to the physical therapist for Daniel's jaw and Nathan's leg/hip.  It was finally decided a few weeks ago that physical therapy was not helping Nathan anymore and he's since had an MRI and a CT scan.  A long story made very short...we are headed to Primary Children's Hospital next month to visit with a pediatric orthopedist.  I don't even know what the medical bills are at this time. I just know that we don't enough money for everything that is demanding it from us.

On a positive note, we spent the weekend wondering if Nathan has cancer and were relieved this morning to find out that is not the cause of his pain.  THANK GOODNESS!

My family is still not a support to me.  It's hard to not feel abandoned, since that's what it is.  My mom can't listen to my needs and I have stopped listening to hers.

The house is a mess because I can't keep up with all the kids.  When I can finally get them to bed, I try to catch up.  THEN I can try to wind down.  I often don't get to bed before midnight.

Meanwhile, life does go on, despite my negative view and constant whining.  I have a zillion pictures to share but don't know if I ever will.  Halloween was fun and I'm glad it's over.

Maybe soon I will post a bunch of pictures and if you're lucky, I'll even tell you the stories behind them.

Quote of the Morning

I was looking for a band aid for Joseph and remarked that our family sure goes through a lot of band aids.

He replied, "That's because we have deadly dogs."

You don't have to laugh too hard.  I laughed enough for everyone.  That kid is a crack-up!

Ironically, the reason he needed a band aid had nothing to do with the dogs.

Deep Thinker

My Joseph has a gift for expressing the obvious.  Tonight it was,  "Mommy, we should organize the whole house."

I agree.  WE should.  But WE don't have the same vision, so WE probably won't be organizing anything.

So I Can Be Happy

It's bedtime and Sarah is searching for excuses to stay up longer.  Everyone is bedding down in the hallway tonight. They think it's such a treat to sleep on the floor and the hallway is even better.  Why do we buy them beds and mattresses?  Anyway, Sarah came into the library here and said she wanted me to read her a bedtime story.  I told her it was too late and she should just go to bed.

She started to argue and I stopped her with, "I am not reading you a story."

She picked up some little books and replied in an exaggerated, out-of-breath display, "Well, I want you to, so I can be happy."

I laughed, called her a devil and sent her back upstairs.  I think this one is really going to be dangerous!

Answered Prayer

We've been busy today.  I had a doctor's appointment at 9 and then went back to town half an hour after getting home to take the boys to the physical therapist.

We'd been blessed to get in...and there were two back to back time slots still open.  They'd had a rough weekend as far as pain goes, Daniel especially.  It seemed an answer to prayer when they had available times that worked with our day.  When I mentioned it to the PT, he agreed that it was an answer to prayer.  He'd been wondering all weekend why they hadn't made sure to fill those appts at the beginning of the week when the rest of the week was booked.

I know a lot of people that scoff at God and call nearly everything a coincidence.  They are welcome to maintain that attitude.  It doesn't change what I know to be true; Heavenly Father is aware of our needs and concerns.  He knew that we were going to have a rough weekend and provided a way for us last week to get help this morning.  We had been praying for the boys and the prayers were answered beautifully.

Right now, we are getting ready for Chad to get home because he is going to turn around and head back to Hagerman with the kids tonight.  They have been looking forward to it all day!  It is spud harvest here so the kids are out of school for two weeks.  I am going in for a little same day surgery in the morning and now I won't have to worry about the kids home alone.  It will be nice to know that I don't have to worry about how I feel when I get home, too.  I can just go to bed if I need to!

Chad's parents are going to keep the kids during the day while he is at work.  They are giving me a great gift!  Just thinking of how I will use my quiet time is lifting my spirits.  :)  We're hoping to make it to Thursday before the kids come back, but we'll see if they only make it to Wednesday.  Either way, I will enjoy myself.

I have plans for a hot bath tonight.  I should get to bed early, but I never seem to make it.  I only have myself to answer to!  Maybe I'll find that missing library book this week.

Swimming Lessons 2012

We had 4 kids in swimming lessons again this year.  That is an expensive 9 days and I always dread bad weather that steals away days in the water.  We did have one day with lightning that kept the kids out of the water.  They made it a safety day and kept the kids inside.

This was Joseph's first year in the pool.  He had been looking forward to it! Daniel was gone to Scout Camp   for the first week, so it was just me and Sarah hanging out pool side (or on the other side of the chain link fence).

Joseph was in Level One.  They take it easy and get the kids used to being in the water.  They do something called "washing machine" at the beginning of the lesson which swishes the kids back and forth and then submerges them.  Some kids handle that better than others!

This is Joseph in the washing machine (he's in the middle).

This is Joseph's washing machine under the water.

Joseph had to "eat a lot of cookies" to get his belly full enough to float.  I'm sure he had no trouble visualizing real cookies.  We can still see his ribs, though.

Joseph really likes trains.  This one was no exception.  He is the 3rd cute kid from the right.

Rebekah was in Level Two this year.  (She is the one with both hands on the wall.)

I got an action shot of Rebekah jumping off the wall to her teacher.  She showed little fear in the water.

 Leah and Nathan were in Level Four together.  They were the farthest away and the hardest to pick out through the camera lens.  Here they are in the middle of the picture with another kid between them.

They did a lot of swimming back and forth across the width of the pool while trying to dodge the Level Six kids who were swimming across the length of the pool.  It was a tricky thing to do!

 They also did a lot of diving.  There were a few belly flops.  Of course.  :)

 I didn't expect anyone to pass, though I thought Rebekah had the best chance.  She did, but the surprise was that Joseph did too!  Leah and Nathan get to work at Level Four again next year.  This all means that we will have 5 kids in swimming lessons next summer in Levels One, Two, Three, Four and Four!  (Sarah will start.)  Yikes.  I should start saving now.

I have a sense of peace that the kids are learning to swim.  Sadly, we don't really go swimming as a family and our tub isn't that big.  I hope it's like riding a bicycle.

Halloween Pajamas

We have started introducing Halloween into our home this month. It started with vinyl on the door.  The sun has been trying to melt it off, but we keep smoothing it back on.  ;)

This year, I made sure I got the kids' pajamas done in time to really enjoy the anticipation of the "holiday."  And an extra was a matching shirt.  I had some special vinyl that I was anxious to use.  I cut the fabric on Tuesday, cut the vinyl on Wednesday, ironed it on the shirts on Thursday and spent 3 hours sewing on Friday (today).  Whew!

Here they are tonight before bed.

 (Rebekah's pajamas do have legs of equal length, despite the apparent proof otherwise.)

Chad and I like this shot the best, but it's not about the pj's.  We think six kids make a PERFECT pyramid! Of course, this picture was captured right before the top of the pyramid slipped off and the bottom crumpled.

And while it seems we're rushing into Halloween, I don't think the bin of decorations will come out for at least another week.  ;)

Animals, animals, animals

We have a few animals around here.  The number fluctuates depending on what is sold, what is born and what dies.  The kids love the animals that fit in their laps (or used to).

This is Stripes.  She is a 2nd generation cat in our family.  

This is one of her kittens, Potato Chips.  He is such a sweet cat and has a little raspy purr.  We really should find him a new home, but we aren't that motivated.  His sister is a tiny copy of their mother.  They are both very calm and friendly kitties.  Unless you are a mouse. 

We sold all of our sheep this summer.  It was too much responsibility for me, even though at this point they were taking care of themselves.  I was thinking ahead to winter and didn't want to worry about all of that.

This is Molly, on her last day as a member of our family.  She was terrorizing the farm a little and needed a home where she could get more human attention.  An older (than me) couple took her about a month and a half ago.  Leah sobbed.  She'd become much more attached to Molly than I'd realized.  She's OK now.

As part of the deal that we could find Molly a new home, we got a new puppy for Leah to attach herself to.  (No one else around here is as much an animals person as Leah!)

This little puppy is Lucky.  She is technically Daniel's dog.  We had her first and knew that she had a sister still available.  She was anxious to meet Molly.

But I think she was happy to be reunited with her sister.  They were only separated for two days, so it wasn't a huge reunion.  They had already grown a bit in these pictures.

Meet Georgia.

 Here they are two months later.  When will they stop growing?  They are growing SO fast!  They are about 15 weeks old now.  We had to buy choke collars so that Leah could handle Georgia.  That is one strong pup!

We set up this kennel for them yesterday, got them off the grass and are using the house as a weather shield. We had to steal it from the chickens though and will have to put up something to contain the birds soon.

I've heard some specific meowing/crying late at night for the past week.  I'm sure we'll be dealing with more kittens in about 4 months.  I'd fix Stripes, but that is a sure way to never see her again.  You might not believe it.  We have too much experience to think otherwise!

We still have one cow.  And too many spiders.

Horsin' around on the 4th of July

Is anyone else like me?  I always feel some sort of relief once the 4th of July is over.  Maybe it's because I am not a crowds person.  And Independence Day seems to be a day of crowds.  But despite my mild dislike of the holiday, it comes every year.

I did make shirts again this year.  I just can't help myself!  It seems that half of what the kids wear are shirts that I've designed in some way.  I hope that they will forgive me for that when they are older.  :)  

I was too lazy to line them up properly for a formal shot of their matchy-matchy shirts.  This is the best I could do.  Sadly, two of my children ended up without faces!

The kids really didn't care about their shirts anyway.  We were at the Bishop's this late afternoon to ride his horse, Shadow.  Leah nearly combusted waiting for the time to get in the van to drive 3 houses down the road.  So we let her go first.

Then it was Rebekah's turn.

Joseph was next.

Doesn't that expression make you wonder just what he is thinking?  I love this shot.  He is gripping that saddle horn pretty tightly.

Next was Daniel's turn.  I tried to tell the Bishop that you can't just throw Daniel on a horse the same way he'd been doing with the first three.  I think I was too far away.  Daniel is short, but he has 12 years of growing packed into that body.  I hope the Bishop's back was OK the next day.

Daniel enjoyed his ride.

We had to force Nathan on the horse.  He's our child that would rather watch life pass him by.  Half of his memories will probably be ones we shoved him into.  Even so, he did enjoy the ride.  He just wouldn't admit it.

This one of Sarah kills me.  I think she should become a jockey.  She sure looks like she wants to go!  The funny thing about Sarah is that she doesn't think she is small.  She had just watched 5 people before her ride this horse and she was going to have her turn.  When she started to slip off the saddle after the horse jumped to the side, she decided she wasn't so brave and let her 2-year-old girl cry out.

Luckily, Sarah's Daddy was there to make the experience positive.  They rode together once the Bishop brought the horses out of the corral.

When it got dark, we lit our fireworks.  We had decided to skip the public show because it wasn't the firework show that had the kids wide-eyed and mesmerized.  We don't need drunks and scantily clad women to complete our holiday!

True to tradition, we were down to 3 empty BBQ lighters to use to light our fireworks.  Our thumbs and fingers were raw by the time we got everything lit.  I guess it just made the show last longer!

HOLY SMOKES!

It would not be a real family celebration if someone didn't cry.  It was way past this little girl's bedtime!

Even now we still have a few sparklers left over.  I can only take so much smoke and burn risk!

June - and what it was.

I've already mentioned Daniel's birthday and ordination.  Those events happened in June.  We also celebrated Chad's birthday in June.  It passed relatively quietly.  I made him a lemon meringue pie, at his request.  We had to have it a day late, for some reason that I can't even recall!  Thirty-nine is not so momentous an occasion as forty, I guess.  So we'll have to really whoop it up next year!  

June was the big start to the summer for us.  We filled it with letter boxing; a little here and there.  The next 4 pictures are from our adventures looking for boxes.

In June, Nathan saw an orthopedic specialist for his leg/hip problems.  That's when he was diagnosed with "spastic hamstrings" which we have since abandoned and moved on to more reasonable explanations.  I am including this picture because I caught Nathan on camera (hard to do) with a severe case of the giggles.  :)

Mid June had us at the Shrine Circus, watching routines that we have started to memorize.

Even so, it still manages to mesmerize!

 OK...so this one looks less like "awe" and more like "yawn", but the circus is not action 100% of the time.

Hey, Daniel.

We anticipated a rush of people leaving all at once and decided to skip the two-elephant finale at the end to get out of the parking lot ahead of the chaos.  It worked and it was worth it!

Chad's maternal grandmother turned 90 in June and the family got together one Saturday to celebrate her.  We visited with cousins a lot.  I gave the camera to Chad to record what was most important to him.  He turned the camera over to the kids.  So we have a lot of pictures that aren't really that important at all.  Here are some of the better ones.

And what about a picture of the honored matron?  We got one.  I doctored it for you so you would be able to pick her out.  Wow.  We did good.

We recently discovered that Chad's something-great grandfather homesteaded in this area (Presto, not Preston).  I used to know how far back but I've forgotten and if you want to hear any of the story, you won't mind that I don't feel obligated to find out before I post.  The delay has been long enough!  Anyway, we tried to do some investigating one Sunday afternoon.  We found a very old stone house built in 1909 - by the people that bought the land from the Colletts. So here is a shot of the land that they used to live on.  Good ol' Idaho; it's easy to picture them out there since the city hasn't found this beautiful piece of earth yet.

And that is (was) June in pictures.

Chad started his new job in June and it has been challenging to be separated so much.  I am having a hard time running a family, a house and a farm while taking care of church responsibilities and trying to keep from giving up all of my "me" time.  I think the hardest part is not having family around; no one to call on and impose upon without feeling like a bother or intruder.  I end up leaving my kids home by themselves a lot and I feel guilty about that.

I have some great neighbors and a few friends that have lightened the burden, but it really isn't the same as family.  Even being able to call home to discuss the challenges and get a pep talk isn't an option.

So I hope our current situation improves soon and that we can just "keep on keeping on" until it does.