Humming...

You may or may not have noticed that I haven't been around much.  Not only haven't I written much, but I haven't read much either.  Blogs have slipped down the priority list.  Life has pretty much taken me down a rugged road lately.

I've decided that I'm so tightly wound into a taut line of nerves that you might actually be able to hear me hum if you listen.

Chad's working out of town and not being home 3 nights of the week is taking its toll on our family.  He was released from his calling, but I was not.  My meetings often take me out of the home in the evening and the kids are left alone.  They don't like it and I feel guilty.  Not to mention taking care of 6 kids, and their school needs, and the house, etc.

We'd love to sell the house, but we've been dealing with a legal dispute and then waiting on approval from the mortgage company.  No one cares that we have issues.  No one rushes to help us meet our deadlines.  It's very frustrating and stressful.

We've had numerous trips to the physical therapist for Daniel's jaw and Nathan's leg/hip.  It was finally decided a few weeks ago that physical therapy was not helping Nathan anymore and he's since had an MRI and a CT scan.  A long story made very short...we are headed to Primary Children's Hospital next month to visit with a pediatric orthopedist.  I don't even know what the medical bills are at this time. I just know that we don't enough money for everything that is demanding it from us.

On a positive note, we spent the weekend wondering if Nathan has cancer and were relieved this morning to find out that is not the cause of his pain.  THANK GOODNESS!

My family is still not a support to me.  It's hard to not feel abandoned, since that's what it is.  My mom can't listen to my needs and I have stopped listening to hers.

The house is a mess because I can't keep up with all the kids.  When I can finally get them to bed, I try to catch up.  THEN I can try to wind down.  I often don't get to bed before midnight.

Meanwhile, life does go on, despite my negative view and constant whining.  I have a zillion pictures to share but don't know if I ever will.  Halloween was fun and I'm glad it's over.

Maybe soon I will post a bunch of pictures and if you're lucky, I'll even tell you the stories behind them.