You may or may not have noticed that I haven't been around much. Not only haven't I written much, but I haven't read much either. Blogs have slipped down the priority list. Life has pretty much taken me down a rugged road lately.
I've decided that I'm so tightly wound into a taut line of nerves that you might actually be able to hear me hum if you listen.
Chad's working out of town and not being home 3 nights of the week is taking its toll on our family. He was released from his calling, but I was not. My meetings often take me out of the home in the evening and the kids are left alone. They don't like it and I feel guilty. Not to mention taking care of 6 kids, and their school needs, and the house, etc.
We'd love to sell the house, but we've been dealing with a legal dispute and then waiting on approval from the mortgage company. No one cares that we have issues. No one rushes to help us meet our deadlines. It's very frustrating and stressful.
We've had numerous trips to the physical therapist for Daniel's jaw and Nathan's leg/hip. It was finally decided a few weeks ago that physical therapy was not helping Nathan anymore and he's since had an MRI and a CT scan. A long story made very short...we are headed to Primary Children's Hospital next month to visit with a pediatric orthopedist. I don't even know what the medical bills are at this time. I just know that we don't enough money for everything that is demanding it from us.
On a positive note, we spent the weekend wondering if Nathan has cancer and were relieved this morning to find out that is not the cause of his pain. THANK GOODNESS!
My family is still not a support to me. It's hard to not feel abandoned, since that's what it is. My mom can't listen to my needs and I have stopped listening to hers.
The house is a mess because I can't keep up with all the kids. When I can finally get them to bed, I try to catch up. THEN I can try to wind down. I often don't get to bed before midnight.
Meanwhile, life does go on, despite my negative view and constant whining. I have a zillion pictures to share but don't know if I ever will. Halloween was fun and I'm glad it's over.
Maybe soon I will post a bunch of pictures and if you're lucky, I'll even tell you the stories behind them.
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Monday, November 5, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Double Duty
I have had the hardest time getting time to blog! Summer is definitely to blame. I also have a hard time justifying long amounts at the computer. Most of my visits lately have been short stops to sit for a minute, catching up on any recent updates in the world (or Facebook) and then up again to do something that seems more pressing.
That is all compounded by the fact that I am now pulling double duty. Chad has accepted a new job and doesn't always come home at night. He has to drive over 2 hours to get to the office, so it's not only cheaper for him to stay with his parents (they live another 30 minutes away from where is he is working), but he can't survive that many early mornings and long hours on the road.
He started his job less than three weeks ago and we are still making the adjustments. I was really feeling a little overwhelmed one afternoon and confided some tears to a friend. That night I was reading in Ether 6 with the kids. It's about the Jaredites in their barges, traveling for 344 days with their animals and provisions, separated from other friends and family and even bearing children. Ha! At least I am not stuck in my house with poopy animals and being tossed upon the waves. I have a new outlook! :)
It's all been a warm up for this week because Chad's church calling as scoutmaster has taken him away for the entire week to scout camp. He took Daniel. So it has been quieter, but it's a lot of responsibility.
Meanwhile, we had a cow go down. His legs just seemed to lose strength. Since a week ago Saturday, he's only been on his feet a handful of times. We don't even know what happened. But it's been hot and today was at least 95 degrees. The cow was failing and I finally had to call some friends for help. The cow was shot between the eyes, loaded into a dump truck and hauled away. Then I read scriptures with the kids and put them to bed. Just a normal day for the family!
As far as family health goes, Chad was reminded that he has high blood pressure. He was told that there wasn't really anything he could do about it now because he isn't overweight. Huh. Is that all it takes? Daniel has still been struggling with his jaw. (Come to think of it, I'm not sure he took any medicine with him to camp.) He has seen a physical therapist multiple times. It helps. Nathan has been diagnosed with spastic hamstrings and is often crying about his sore legs. He's just supposed to keep stretching the hamstrings and taking ibuprofen for the inflammation. He's taking medicine daily for the pain.
Leah is sleep walking regularly and is the most likely to have a nightmare. I had my first experience with vertigo two days before Chad was supposed to start his new job. On the 2nd day I was able to find help that was helpful. The first P.A. I saw (it's so hard to see a real doctor these days) gave me a medicine that made me very, very tired and still didn't stop the room from spinning. I was supposed to add Valium to that if it wasn't working. Yeah, right! How the heck was I going to care for my family on my own if I couldn't even function!? The 3rd P.A. I saw was able to preform an Epley Maneuver. It worked wonders on my vertigo. That was 4 weeks ago today. I still feel dizzy if I tilt my head the wrong way or spin around too quickly. But I don't need any medication, so I'm happy.
As for my relationship with my family? I rarely hear much from them. I am still OK with that. They don't know very much about what is happening my life or the lives of my children, but they don't seem bothered by that. So they shouldn't be surprised when they eventually hear about some major change...long afterward. Right? I am more bothered by my local friends who didn't make attempts to contact me when I stopped initiating contacts with them. That hurts more because they were the family I chose and they still decided I wasn't very important to them. I think of the therapist who told me I am hyper sensitive. How sensitive am I allowed to be before it's too much? I don't know. I'm not a brick, after all!
So, there's a really long excuse as to why I have not been blogging. I have been preparing some pictures to get myself caught up. Hopefully, I can get them posted before I forget the stories that go with them!
That is all compounded by the fact that I am now pulling double duty. Chad has accepted a new job and doesn't always come home at night. He has to drive over 2 hours to get to the office, so it's not only cheaper for him to stay with his parents (they live another 30 minutes away from where is he is working), but he can't survive that many early mornings and long hours on the road.
He started his job less than three weeks ago and we are still making the adjustments. I was really feeling a little overwhelmed one afternoon and confided some tears to a friend. That night I was reading in Ether 6 with the kids. It's about the Jaredites in their barges, traveling for 344 days with their animals and provisions, separated from other friends and family and even bearing children. Ha! At least I am not stuck in my house with poopy animals and being tossed upon the waves. I have a new outlook! :)
It's all been a warm up for this week because Chad's church calling as scoutmaster has taken him away for the entire week to scout camp. He took Daniel. So it has been quieter, but it's a lot of responsibility.
Meanwhile, we had a cow go down. His legs just seemed to lose strength. Since a week ago Saturday, he's only been on his feet a handful of times. We don't even know what happened. But it's been hot and today was at least 95 degrees. The cow was failing and I finally had to call some friends for help. The cow was shot between the eyes, loaded into a dump truck and hauled away. Then I read scriptures with the kids and put them to bed. Just a normal day for the family!
As far as family health goes, Chad was reminded that he has high blood pressure. He was told that there wasn't really anything he could do about it now because he isn't overweight. Huh. Is that all it takes? Daniel has still been struggling with his jaw. (Come to think of it, I'm not sure he took any medicine with him to camp.) He has seen a physical therapist multiple times. It helps. Nathan has been diagnosed with spastic hamstrings and is often crying about his sore legs. He's just supposed to keep stretching the hamstrings and taking ibuprofen for the inflammation. He's taking medicine daily for the pain.
Leah is sleep walking regularly and is the most likely to have a nightmare. I had my first experience with vertigo two days before Chad was supposed to start his new job. On the 2nd day I was able to find help that was helpful. The first P.A. I saw (it's so hard to see a real doctor these days) gave me a medicine that made me very, very tired and still didn't stop the room from spinning. I was supposed to add Valium to that if it wasn't working. Yeah, right! How the heck was I going to care for my family on my own if I couldn't even function!? The 3rd P.A. I saw was able to preform an Epley Maneuver. It worked wonders on my vertigo. That was 4 weeks ago today. I still feel dizzy if I tilt my head the wrong way or spin around too quickly. But I don't need any medication, so I'm happy.
As for my relationship with my family? I rarely hear much from them. I am still OK with that. They don't know very much about what is happening my life or the lives of my children, but they don't seem bothered by that. So they shouldn't be surprised when they eventually hear about some major change...long afterward. Right? I am more bothered by my local friends who didn't make attempts to contact me when I stopped initiating contacts with them. That hurts more because they were the family I chose and they still decided I wasn't very important to them. I think of the therapist who told me I am hyper sensitive. How sensitive am I allowed to be before it's too much? I don't know. I'm not a brick, after all!
So, there's a really long excuse as to why I have not been blogging. I have been preparing some pictures to get myself caught up. Hopefully, I can get them posted before I forget the stories that go with them!
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