Frozen

I found a frozen ice cube tray in the freezer today.  Just the tray.  No ice.

Perhaps someone was prepping it for future ice cubes.

Completely unnecessary, of course.

This Week

The holidays are over.  The fun is all over.  It's back to boring and normal life!  I am hoping that will mean positive changes for us.

Chad has submitted several resumes all over the west (and one or two in the east).  Most of those were sent before Christmas, but the responses have been slow.  We hope that the end of festivities means the beginning of progress in the job hunt.

We also hope that the transition into normal life means that our chances of selling our home shoot up.  We've only had one call on the house so far and they wanted a lease/buy option.  I am really hoping to sell soon, but  that means that I have to battle keeping a clean house while battling being a single parent.  Either one of those battles is big enough on its own.

Meanwhile, our life goes on.  This week includes a trip to Primary Children's hospital in Salt Lake with Nathan and a biopsy for Daniel in Idaho Falls.  Both boys are hurting a lot and taking pain killer constantly.  Daniel's system doesn't seem to respond well to hydrocodone and it looses its effectiveness after a couple of uses. Nathan responds better to it, but still needs to alternate it with ibuprofen.

The weather has been very cold lately. The temperature was -15 degrees on Thursday morning when the bus pulled up for the kids.  I think we've actually stayed above zero for the past two nights.  I'm sure the dogs, cats and chickens have appreciated the heat wave.

I don't know what to write about.  The truth is, I'm running at a high-irritation level right now and it causes high feelings of guilt.  I have long-suffering issues with my family.  I find fault with my neighbors much too quickly.  My kids are constantly asking me for something and it is all winding me into a time bomb.

I know none of you want to be saddled with the stuff that eats at me.  I don't want to write about it because it all seems so trivial.  I just want it to go away!  (No, I don't need a special light to sit under.  If only it were that easy.)

Update on Daniel

Many people have been asking me if there is any news on Daniel's jaw problems.  The answer is, "No."

The oral surgeon we saw has been trying to consult with other medical experts before giving us his final diagnosis.  We had been going off of "Monostotic Fibrous Dysplasia."  But now that may not be what we are looking at.  The doctor took Daniel's scans to a radiologist at a nearby hospital for an informal reading (which means I didn't have to pay for it).  The radiologist said his initial thought was that it looked like a result of abuse.

Huh.  I told the doctor, "Well, I know it's not that, so keep looking."  He wondered if there was anyone that could be abusing Daniel that I might not expect.  Really, we are a boring family. I am the main caregiver.  He doesn't play sports.  He isn't part of any clubs and doesn't play at a friend's house very often.  And for 3 1/2 years?  Yeah.  It's not abuse.  Keep looking.

And he was.  He'd mailed the scans off to his colleagues in Iowa.  (These are the doctors he does training with and he considers them the experts.)  I had this conversation with him the week before Christmas.  Meanwhile, Daniel seems to have suffered a flare up of some kind.  The medicine doesn't seem to help very much.

I left a message with the doctor today and expect him to call tomorrow.  He's been very good at explaining things and assuring me he's trying to get some answers.  We may be looking at doing a biopsy to get a little more to investigate.  After this long, I'm just waiting for him to tell us what to do...we will do it!

I recorded Daniel's typical reaction to pain tonight.   I was trying to get a candid shot, so I was trying to avoid looking like I was recording him.  That means, I had the phone upright which recorded everything sideways.  Just rest your head on the desk while you watch.  ;)



Nathan's pain has also returned.  He'd had such a good run of no pain, that I was beginning to wonder if he'd somehow healed.  I guess not.  We have a scheduled appt. next month, but I may have to call sooner if the pain gets much worse.  I don't want to have to make another trip down to SL.

Maybe I can make appts for both boys down there on the same trip!

Merry Christmas!

I have spoken with a few people recently about my blog and the pathetic attention I have been giving it.  My dad encouraged me to get back to writing.  (In his fatherly pride, he's sure I could make a few dollars if I were try to get myself published.  It is a long-dormant dream of mine to write for publishing. And getting some money out of it wouldn't be too much of a hardship.  But my confidence in my writing having much appeal has been holding me back.  Anyway...)

So I am writing tonight.  Truthfully, I'm waiting for my dinosaur laptop to boot up.  It was my big deal Christmas present 6 years ago.  I still love it, but now I love it a little longer each time I sit waiting for it to do anything.

We had a very nice Christmas today.  Santa was good and kind to the kids.  Joseph was quite impressed that Santa understood his drawing of a drum and gave him one.  And Sarah just KNEW she was getting a baby and a "blankie."  What can I say?  Santa is amazing.  And he has me for his personal secretary when catering to our family.

Leah was thrilled with her horse-print blanket and Breyer horse complete with western saddle and bridle. I took great care to keep the sewing of the blanket and selection of the horse from the collection in the garage a secret from Leah as this was the last year for her to "believe."  I wanted her to have one more magical, wonder-filled memory.

I knew that she wouldn't have any more Christmases with the same level of faith in the old jolly guy, but I surprised myself with the thought of talking it over with her later in the morning.  I got Chad's opinion first and then took Leah aside while we were outside with the dogs.  She took the revelation extremely well.  She is now part of the family keeping the "Santa Secret."  Occasionally throughout the day, she has quietly asked me a question about one point or another.  She was such a firm believer!  I feel a bit sad to take that away from her, but she is already surrounded by kids sharing their own understanding.  I'd rather the news come softly and with love than in a school yard jab.

Chad's gift to me this year was a raised platform for my washer and dryer.  For nearly two years now, I have been putting my head between my knees just to get the clothes from the washing machine into the dryer.  Now, I no longer have to feel the blood rushing to my head while I labor in the laundry room.  The machines are 15" higher and have spots to store the waiting laundry baskets.  The fact that I can barely see the top of the machines is a small sacrifice.  I am a short person in a tall world!  ;)  I told Chad that the luxury of not contorting myself just to do the wash was worth every minute he spent making the stand.  I don't know if he agrees, but I do appreciate the gift!

Despite the tornado that tore through the living room from 6 AM to 8 AM, things are mostly put away and the room restored.  That translates to: it's really no messier than normal.  If we were to have a surprise visitor, I wouldn't be unusually embarrassed, except that I'm in my pj's and looking just as tired as I feel.

We have Chad home for one more day tomorrow and I anticipate more game playing, maybe a trip to "town" and possibly some cookie baking.  Sometime between now and next Wednesday, I have to prepare for Leah's birthday.  But let's just take it one day at a time!

I hope everyone had a merry Christmas!

King Daniel

Daniel was cleaning the toilet bowl and Sarah came over to visit and observe.  (I agree.  That is a gross place to hang around.)

Daniel slips into performance mode and starts straining to remove the toilet brush from the bowl of the toilet. He makes a reference to pulling the sword from the stone.  When he finally frees the brush/sword, he declares, "I'm the next king."

I don't know what gets into that boy's head.  But I did think to myself, at least your "throne" is clean!

Joseph's Jelly Fish

Joseph has been focused a bit on jelly fish lately.  He keeps asking me why they are called jelly fish.  I give him my best guess...because they move like they are made of jelly.  He has a different idea this morning.

"Mommy, I know why they are called jelly fish."
"Why?"
"Because they eat jelly."
"No.  They don't eat jelly."
"Yes, they do!"
"There isn't any jelly in the ocean."
"Yes, there is!"
"Where does it come from?"
"People throw it in!"

OK.  I know we have a pollution problem on this planet.  But even so, we aren't supporting whole species with our waste.  So I didn't believe him.  ;)

Nathan's Hip

Many people are wondering what is happening with Nathan's hip.  Join the party!  We are also still wondering.  Here is what we know so far, and the questions our knowledge inspires.

Based on an MRI and a CT scan, Nathan does not have cancer.  We were unsure about that for a while and spent a long weekend wondering if that would be the diagnosis.  There is a higher bone density on the side that he is experiencing pain. The "impression" from the doctor reading the CT scan is that there is a "mild chronic stress reaction" of the iliac bone.  But that is an unusual place to have that problem.  The fact that something like that should have healed long before now has meant we get to see a doctor at Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake.  The doctor mentioned something about possibly having fluid "in there."   I can't elaborate on something I don't understand.

We did that on Tuesday this week.  They also agreed that nothing too serious or scary was going on (like cancer), but they were still unsure what was happening - exactly.  Nathan had some blood drawn that day and we have an appointment next week for a full body scan.  The scan is supposed to be even more in depth than a CT scan (which is more in depth than an MRI).  They will have to give him some contrast of some kind and wait for it to work before they do the scan.  We've been told to expect the appointment to last about 4 hours.

So now we are trying to figure out what to do with the rest of the kids on that day.  School is out.  It seems unnecessary to make them also take a 10 hour trip.  It's the day before Thanksgiving so we could just hang out with family for the weekend, but Chad would have to meet us separately and there are animals to care for and we'd have to add packing to our plans.  Besides, with all of the traveling we've been doing, and the stress we've been feeling, nothing seems more appealing than being home.

And that's an update on Nathan.  Thankfully, his pain seems to have lessened.  I think the physical therapy, while helping straighten out his back, was aggravating his hip. He is nearly pain free unless he has a day of a lot of extra activity.

Maybe my next post will be an update on Daniel!