I am looking forward to school starting next week. We are suffering from a cancer that is eating our family from the inside. When the kids start school, they will be able to reconnect with friends that they have been missing all summer and use up their energy in more structured activities.
Things have been so crazy around here that we've had very little structure. Sometimes we had swimming lessons, sometimes we were catching a movie from the summer kid series, there was a week of basketball camp for Daniel and Leah, we've made several trips out of town, there were two different scout camps, and we've been missing our Daddy.
It's been hot this summer and our house doesn't have air conditioning. That hasn't helped the temper flare-ups much.
Daniel composed a poem for Leah tonight.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your shoes smell like poo,
And you look like some, too.
She wrote it down and showed it to me while I was working on dishes and they were supposed to be going to bed. So I composed one of my own and wrote it down for Daniel.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
When you are unkind to others,
They will start to avoid you.
-And you will be sad, mad and lonely.
Daniel is the main source of contention in the house. I am ready to confine him to areas that we are not in during the day tomorrow. He won't have to stay in his room the whole day, but he will have to leave whatever area we are in. He may find himself with a lot of thinking time in the garden, too. I am to the point of desperation. (Out of respect for him, I won't go into all the dirty details. I still believe that he is better than he's showing us.)
So while our family is struggling with getting along and making happy memories, I have the assignment to teach the RS Presidency message/lesson next month. The topic? Strengthening families/Making a home where others want to be. HA HA HA! I am twitching, laughing hysterically and pretty sure I'm the least qualified to teach this lesson. I suppose that means I have the most to learn. It should be interesting...right up to the final AMEN.
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Poor Me
I am supposed to be in the kitchen, but I am on my 2nd week of killer heel pain and I am looking for any excuse to sit for a moment.
I just sent 6 kids to bed and yelled at them to stay there. I yelled at them to get their drinks, brush their teeth, go to the bathroom, bother each other and get through all of their excuses now because I did not want to hear them 30 minutes from now. Isn't that a lovely way for your mother to tuck you in at night?
I am feeling quite overwhelmed with the things that still need to be done at 9 PM. The dishwasher needs to be unloaded and then loaded. Laundry needs to be folded. I have a zillion little projects that are perfect for after the kids are in bed, but I won't get to them because the dishes and laundry will eat up my time.
And honestly, I just want to put up my feet and read a book or watch TV.
The garden needs weeded. It's like laundry - endless. I really am sick of going into other people's gardens and hearing them make some excuse about the amount of weeds. Muchacho...you don't know what weeds are!!
(Sarah just appeared without any underwear or pj bottoms on. I guess my threats tonight did not scare her. If I ignore her, will she take care of herself?)
I think what really frustrates me is that I request, cajole, threaten, suggest and demand help constantly and my kids act like I've sent them to the coal mines. Daniel is molasses personified and Nathan nearly has a heart attack when I give him a job. Leah is usually the one to get to work and will jump in when she sees a need. Rebekah suddenly becomes deaf and can only communicate by stomping and huffing off to her room. Joseph starts screaming in mind-altering decibels and turns red in the face. Sarah is still too innocent (or is smart enough to still use it) and goes off to do whatever she wants.
So what do I do? I turn into my mother and lecture them. At least I haven't resorted to singing "There Is Beauty All Around" every time they start fighting. I do have standards (and I couldn't stand to sing that song all day long)!
I just sent 6 kids to bed and yelled at them to stay there. I yelled at them to get their drinks, brush their teeth, go to the bathroom, bother each other and get through all of their excuses now because I did not want to hear them 30 minutes from now. Isn't that a lovely way for your mother to tuck you in at night?
I am feeling quite overwhelmed with the things that still need to be done at 9 PM. The dishwasher needs to be unloaded and then loaded. Laundry needs to be folded. I have a zillion little projects that are perfect for after the kids are in bed, but I won't get to them because the dishes and laundry will eat up my time.
And honestly, I just want to put up my feet and read a book or watch TV.
The garden needs weeded. It's like laundry - endless. I really am sick of going into other people's gardens and hearing them make some excuse about the amount of weeds. Muchacho...you don't know what weeds are!!
(Sarah just appeared without any underwear or pj bottoms on. I guess my threats tonight did not scare her. If I ignore her, will she take care of herself?)
I think what really frustrates me is that I request, cajole, threaten, suggest and demand help constantly and my kids act like I've sent them to the coal mines. Daniel is molasses personified and Nathan nearly has a heart attack when I give him a job. Leah is usually the one to get to work and will jump in when she sees a need. Rebekah suddenly becomes deaf and can only communicate by stomping and huffing off to her room. Joseph starts screaming in mind-altering decibels and turns red in the face. Sarah is still too innocent (or is smart enough to still use it) and goes off to do whatever she wants.
So what do I do? I turn into my mother and lecture them. At least I haven't resorted to singing "There Is Beauty All Around" every time they start fighting. I do have standards (and I couldn't stand to sing that song all day long)!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Children's voices...oh how sweet.
Sacrament Meeting last Sunday was fun. Joseph had thrown a couple of high-energy tantrums before we left for church and was warmed up for just about anything to set him off again.
Halfway through the first adult speaker, he got into an argument over a small activity pad and ended up ripping it in half in a tug-of-war he started. I saw the signs of a nuclear meltdown forming rapidly...a twisted facial expression, darkened eyes, sitting back on the floor, and his arms rising.
I let him know that it was his fault the book ripped (because I'm a firm believer in acknowledging fault...like any other award-winning parent) and then reached down to scoop him up to take him out before the tantrum was fully formed.
Sadly, I was wrestling a writhing 4-year-old while trying to squeeze past Daniel and my extra large church bag sitting on the floor. I nearly made a quick get away, but my long skirt got longer and grabbed my foot, almost taking both of us down. As I finally approached the chapel doors (shh...be still) with Joseph in a football hold, he started kicking and screaming and raised his arms straight up in an effort to slide out of my grasp. So my free hand went over his mouth and his heels made repeated contact with my left shin.
We hobbled past a few surprised and amused folks sitting on a couch in the foyer to an empty classroom. There I dumped him a little less than lovingly in the middle of the room and walked out, closing the door behind me. I sat on another couch and made as if nothing were amiss. I don't think I was convincing because the screams of rage coming through the very thick door just over my shoulder were pretty loud.
Eventually, he screamed himself out. He and I returned to the chapel doors (shh...be still) and waited for the intermediate hymn to begin before calmly returning to the rest of the family.
And what song do you think they were singing? Yes...In Our Lovely Deseret (Hymns, #307). "Hark! 'Tis children's music. Children's voices, oh, how sweet. When in innocence and love, like the angels up above, they with happy hearts and cheerful faces meet." Verse three nearly had me laughing out loud...
They should be instructed young
How to watch and guard the tongue,
And their tempers train and evil passions bind;
They should always be polite,
And treat ev’rybody right,
And in ev’ry place be affable and kind.
Find the entire song here.
Most people at church can't believe Joseph has a temper because he's just so darned cute and quiet in his classes. There are few more believers now!
I imagine all the great grandmas and grandpas in heaven were smiling down. Heaven would have been a much better place to experience it from!
Halfway through the first adult speaker, he got into an argument over a small activity pad and ended up ripping it in half in a tug-of-war he started. I saw the signs of a nuclear meltdown forming rapidly...a twisted facial expression, darkened eyes, sitting back on the floor, and his arms rising.
I let him know that it was his fault the book ripped (because I'm a firm believer in acknowledging fault...like any other award-winning parent) and then reached down to scoop him up to take him out before the tantrum was fully formed.
Sadly, I was wrestling a writhing 4-year-old while trying to squeeze past Daniel and my extra large church bag sitting on the floor. I nearly made a quick get away, but my long skirt got longer and grabbed my foot, almost taking both of us down. As I finally approached the chapel doors (shh...be still) with Joseph in a football hold, he started kicking and screaming and raised his arms straight up in an effort to slide out of my grasp. So my free hand went over his mouth and his heels made repeated contact with my left shin.
We hobbled past a few surprised and amused folks sitting on a couch in the foyer to an empty classroom. There I dumped him a little less than lovingly in the middle of the room and walked out, closing the door behind me. I sat on another couch and made as if nothing were amiss. I don't think I was convincing because the screams of rage coming through the very thick door just over my shoulder were pretty loud.
Eventually, he screamed himself out. He and I returned to the chapel doors (shh...be still) and waited for the intermediate hymn to begin before calmly returning to the rest of the family.
And what song do you think they were singing? Yes...In Our Lovely Deseret (Hymns, #307). "Hark! 'Tis children's music. Children's voices, oh, how sweet. When in innocence and love, like the angels up above, they with happy hearts and cheerful faces meet." Verse three nearly had me laughing out loud...
They should be instructed young
How to watch and guard the tongue,
And their tempers train and evil passions bind;
They should always be polite,
And treat ev’rybody right,
And in ev’ry place be affable and kind.
Find the entire song here.
Most people at church can't believe Joseph has a temper because he's just so darned cute and quiet in his classes. There are few more believers now!
I imagine all the great grandmas and grandpas in heaven were smiling down. Heaven would have been a much better place to experience it from!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Courtesy in diapers
It is a beautiful day in Eastern Idaho! It's a little breezy, but that is something we expect and notice when we don't feel it more than when we do. I had an errand to run this morning and decided to take advantage of having everyone dressed and out the door on such a great day.
We hit a couple of places, grabbed some burgers at Burger King and drove to a park. The temperature was near perfect! As we drove into the parking lot, Joseph expressed some concern over the amount of cars and people there. I think we have passed on our dislike of crowds to our children...at least to Joseph. (When I took him to the dealership last week to get the snow tires off the van, he voiced a strong opinion about the crowd that seemed to be there. I had to let him know that most of the cars in the parking lot were for sale and it didn't mean that there was a lot of people inside.)
One of my biggest kinds of crowds I try to avoid is the kind geared to kids. We have not attended the community Easter Egg hunts for 2 or 3 years because it means there will be a lot kids. Specifically, there will be a lot of kids misbehaving while their parents are happy to ignore it all. I also don't go anywhere that is offering free food. Why are people so rude when free food is the focus? I don't mean to say that I don't like to celebrate, I just don't like watching my kids get taken advantage of while they mind their manners.
So today, when we pulled into the parking lot and Joseph said something about the number of people there, I assured him that it wasn't too many people. We found a nice spot for our blanket and enjoyed our lunch. As we were cleaning up, we enjoyed the show a 3-year-old boy gave us as he dropped his drawers and relieved himself right then and there. Joseph was quite shocked and we laughed about it. I don't think that little boy's mommy ever knew a thing. I was thankful that Joseph was shocked...I hope that means he won't try it himself sometime!
Inevitably, if we are at a park, we are going to run into rude kids. I'm sure that my own kids have been rude, too. But they don't get off easy if I hear about it or witness it myself.
Today, I was standing with Sarah as we waited for Joseph to climb a "contraption" in front of us. Just as Sarah was starting to climb up after him, a couple of little girls crowded her out and she retreated. The girls were young...probably around Sarah's age or a bit older. They were taller, but didn't speak as well, so it was hard to tell. I wasn't so irritated at their behavior as much as I was with the woman that was there with them. (I think it was a grandma.) She said sorry "if they got in the way" to me, but didn't stop anything.
I was thinking, "Lady, you ARE going to be sorry if you don't start teaching these kids from the moment they act." NONE of my kids would have ever done that in that situation. Sometimes I want to tell my kids to go ahead and push back just so they won't keep getting the short end of things. But I know it's a better lesson for them to know how it feels to be trampled a bit, if it will give them perspective on how others feel to be mistreated.
There were a couple of other times I spoke up when a few different kids needed correction but had no one around that seemed to belong to them. It's almost comical to see the look on kids' faces when someone intervenes in their fun. But really, it's bad form to take time to take off your socks and shoes in preparation to go UP the slide when there is a line waiting to come DOWN. And it's never good to hurry up the line by pushing the kids before you...especially at the top of a slide.
I guess that was a long disclosure about one of my pet peeves. An unrelated pet peeve is news/weathercasters repeatedly using a favorite word or phrase. (I was just listening to a news broadcast.) You really shouldn't use the word "now" to start your sentence unless you are referring to an actual moment in time. It really starts to seem redundant after the 3rd time in one show.
We hit a couple of places, grabbed some burgers at Burger King and drove to a park. The temperature was near perfect! As we drove into the parking lot, Joseph expressed some concern over the amount of cars and people there. I think we have passed on our dislike of crowds to our children...at least to Joseph. (When I took him to the dealership last week to get the snow tires off the van, he voiced a strong opinion about the crowd that seemed to be there. I had to let him know that most of the cars in the parking lot were for sale and it didn't mean that there was a lot of people inside.)
One of my biggest kinds of crowds I try to avoid is the kind geared to kids. We have not attended the community Easter Egg hunts for 2 or 3 years because it means there will be a lot kids. Specifically, there will be a lot of kids misbehaving while their parents are happy to ignore it all. I also don't go anywhere that is offering free food. Why are people so rude when free food is the focus? I don't mean to say that I don't like to celebrate, I just don't like watching my kids get taken advantage of while they mind their manners.
So today, when we pulled into the parking lot and Joseph said something about the number of people there, I assured him that it wasn't too many people. We found a nice spot for our blanket and enjoyed our lunch. As we were cleaning up, we enjoyed the show a 3-year-old boy gave us as he dropped his drawers and relieved himself right then and there. Joseph was quite shocked and we laughed about it. I don't think that little boy's mommy ever knew a thing. I was thankful that Joseph was shocked...I hope that means he won't try it himself sometime!
Inevitably, if we are at a park, we are going to run into rude kids. I'm sure that my own kids have been rude, too. But they don't get off easy if I hear about it or witness it myself.
Today, I was standing with Sarah as we waited for Joseph to climb a "contraption" in front of us. Just as Sarah was starting to climb up after him, a couple of little girls crowded her out and she retreated. The girls were young...probably around Sarah's age or a bit older. They were taller, but didn't speak as well, so it was hard to tell. I wasn't so irritated at their behavior as much as I was with the woman that was there with them. (I think it was a grandma.) She said sorry "if they got in the way" to me, but didn't stop anything.
I was thinking, "Lady, you ARE going to be sorry if you don't start teaching these kids from the moment they act." NONE of my kids would have ever done that in that situation. Sometimes I want to tell my kids to go ahead and push back just so they won't keep getting the short end of things. But I know it's a better lesson for them to know how it feels to be trampled a bit, if it will give them perspective on how others feel to be mistreated.
There were a couple of other times I spoke up when a few different kids needed correction but had no one around that seemed to belong to them. It's almost comical to see the look on kids' faces when someone intervenes in their fun. But really, it's bad form to take time to take off your socks and shoes in preparation to go UP the slide when there is a line waiting to come DOWN. And it's never good to hurry up the line by pushing the kids before you...especially at the top of a slide.
I guess that was a long disclosure about one of my pet peeves. An unrelated pet peeve is news/weathercasters repeatedly using a favorite word or phrase. (I was just listening to a news broadcast.) You really shouldn't use the word "now" to start your sentence unless you are referring to an actual moment in time. It really starts to seem redundant after the 3rd time in one show.
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